VISION OF THE RELATIONSHIP
Aligning values in relationships is a good thing to do intentionally. Think about how most people go through relationships. Does one person give up important values for the other? Is there conflict in the relationship? These things usually happen when values and beliefs are not discussed and do not align with each other. Most conflict in any relationship is due to different values or beliefs. After all, if we all agreed on what is most important, there would be no need to argue. A relationship mission statement can help!
WE ALL COME FROM DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS
Think about how you grew up, your environment, money, food, school, and so much more. Did your partner grow up the same? Did your parents teach you different lessons about TV, food, religion, or friends than your partner? We all bring expectations to our relationships, but chances are they are not the same for each of us. So why do we think things are supposed to magically work without talking about it, creating goals, or aligning values? Eventually, if the bumps can’t be smoothed out, couples tend to look for someone like me. This is not a bad thing, seeing a professional can be incredibly helpful and restore peace and longevity to your relationship.
REGISTER WITH YOUR PARTNER
For now, let me give you a simple way to reach out, communicate, and look into the future. creating a Vision Relationship It is a simple and useful tool. It doesn’t take much time and can really point to lasting happiness in your relationship.
Some Steps to Creating a Relationship Vision Sit alone for about 30 minutes. Remember that it doesn’t have to be done in a day.
SIMPLE STEPS TO FOLLOW
1. Go for the positive
When you brainstorm, phrase things in a positive way. For example, instead of saying “we don’t argue,” say “we’ll work things out calmly and peacefully” or “we trust each other” instead of “we won’t be jealous.”
2. Write down your non-negotiables and wishes
Write down your “must haves” like “we will be parents together” or “exercise is important” or “we will communicate openly and respect each other’s perspective.” You could also write things like “leaving our union is non-negotiable”, “monogamy is of utmost importance”, “attending church is a priority”, “traveling and experiencing the world with my partner is a high priority”. Make sure it’s not a laundry list for her partner, ie he mows her lawn and she does the laundry.
3. Explore various areas of a relationship
Since we have a multifaceted life, it is important to address as many as you feel are necessary. Expressing needs, wants, and values with sex, finances, lifestyle, parenting, in-laws career, leisure time, and education are just some of the things you may want to consider in visioning. of your relationship. Answer questions on these topics, such as what do I enjoy in my free time? How important are finances? Do I want to work full time? Do I need a 401k? What about insurance? Does my job need to provide this? What percentage or amount of time do we spend with the in-laws? How do we allow them to interact with children? Is sex satisfying? Do we want to explore new sexual ideals? Do the answers align with my values?
4. Come together
Get together as a couple and discuss the things you agree on first. Then discuss what is negotiable and create short sentences that express what is important to both of you. Save the things you don’t agree with for last. See if you can commit to these topics; otherwise, this is where someone like me comes in. Having a professional help partner to get through difficult things is helpful and will benefit your relationship for a lifetime.
5. Think about your statement.
It doesn’t have to be long, complicated, or directive. As a matter of practicality, it’s best to keep it succinct, covering the general topic of your intentions for your relationship.
We are co-creators of our lives, we share the desire to love and be loved unconditionally, consciously determining our behaviors and the results we want for ourselves and our family. We value respect, trust, non-judgment and self-control. We bring the best of ourselves to this union, expelling destructive and self-centered motivations so that we can achieve the most positive and loving lifestyle of which we are capable.
We agree to always love and appreciate each other and recognize how lucky we are; we each consider ourselves the ‘lucky one’. We build together a healthy lifestyle, where we support each other to exercise, eat well, have fun, rest and relax. We make all important decisions together, as a team. We don’t keep secrets from each other. We trust each other and feel secure in caring for each other.
We are together to build a loving family and teach our children about healthy relationships. We create a sense of stability by having some routine, but we also make time for fun and spontaneity. We don’t intentionally hurt ourselves, but we recognize that we still do, so we apologize quickly and easily. we take care of each one.
6. Schedule a time
Weekly, monthly, quarterly, or whatever works for you, but be sure to meet up to assess if you’re on the right track. This is the best way to make sure you both have your needs met and can address you if you’ve gotten off track. This will also provide room for growth. Since nothing in life stays the same, people, situations, events, or relationships, this provides room to renegotiate, change your view of the relationship as you both change.