I recently spent some time reading a good friend, Simon T. Bailey’s book, “Unleashing Your Brilliance” last night and it got me thinking down that path. Although I am a coach and work with people on a daily basis to find their inner wisdom and always play to their strengths, I often fall short of my own inner brilliance.
A visit to my mentor trainer, Dwight Bain, usually cures that. Dwight is working with me to focus on my strengths and not what wears me down. My training session with Dwight set off fireworks, and he challenged me to write the titles of my next 10 books. I am happy to say that exercise is done and I am delighted with what has developed.
I learned that we all have a fishing net that helps us capture leads or sales for our business. If there are holes in the fishing net, where the systems are not configured, then you are missing opportunities. I have some holes in my network and part of that is wasting time on projects that are not profitable.
What I’ve been learning is that when you play many roles in many people’s lives, there are times when you just have to take a breath, slow down and regroup. Sometimes, there will be moments of questions in your mind, moments of doubt, and moments where you think, is this really worth it and is this what I really want anyway? Other times, you’ll think, “why did I spend all that time doing that and it didn’t benefit me at all?”
Sometimes the roles we play will take on more importance and we have to walk away or say “not now” to the other roles we actively participate in for part of our lives. For example, for the past 2 weeks and the week ahead, I have let the role of mom dominate my time. I’ve been shopping for school, reading to my son, visiting the library, and arranging last minute playdates and fun times for him to have good memories of this summer. As a result, I haven’t finished some projects that were on my desk and have had to turn down some jobs that have come my way during this time. I want the money? Who does not? But my “role” this week is to be the best mom I can be, so the money that comes in doesn’t make me a better mom.
I have other projects that are in the gestation stage and the excitement of my partners is fun but again, I have to evaluate it and ask myself: “does this fit in my life right now and is it a priority for me”? My coach asked me to use the word: WIIFM – What’s in it for me? He determined that I am a giver and many times I give more than I have received. I have to admit that it was true. As a result, I have been able to step back and see the energy and time that will go into that project, and what benefit will it bring and feed my values? If not, then I have to say no, or not now to the project. If it works, then I can configure my systems to benefit my business.
So now I ask myself the question: “Does this fill part of my network? Is this activity a promotion of my values or is it a project that I hope to finish?” If not, then I have to put the activity in my social time, or exercise, or other values-driven activity. If it doesn’t fit anywhere, I have to ask, is this the right thing for me at this point in my life?
And you? Do you spend time doing things that don’t fill your network? Are you wasting time or letting it slip away? Or are you spending time with the people who fill it out and doing activities that will help you or others close to you in some way?
The challenge is figuring out what it is you want to achieve. Is it being the best mom in the world for your children? What do you think about this? If so, what activities would you and your children do? Would they be vegetating in front of the TV or computer, or would they be with you in the pool, exploring or learning a new activity? Do you want to be the best seller this quarter? How are you going to get there? Will it be reading every single email that comes in your box, or will it be spending more time listening to motivational tapes?
This week, I’m being a mom. I’m cooking, I’m breastfeeding, I’m reading, I’m exercising, and I’m shopping. I still have work to do, but I’ll do it after hours. Next week, I’ll be working on my products and finding publishers and writing and editing my book. I will start scheduling meetings with potential business partners and alliances.
Next Saturday August 18, 2007 I will be giving one of my favorite workshops: “Developing Your Inner Charisma” at The Knowledge Shop in Winter Park. (www.theknowledgeship.us) It’s Saturday from 1-4 pm When you see me there, I’ll be The Charisma Coach! I’ll be cheering on the participants and helping them see where their special glow lies. And I will know that I will be experiencing mine: helping others find what works for them. I will feel that special feeling of loving being a coach, and knowing that I was the best mom that I could be all week, and that is the best feeling of knowing… that I can do both!