Often women complain that husbands spend most of their time away from home. They spend most of their time outside with friends or visiting their parents. On the other hand, husbands complain that wives are always busy with children and do not care about their husbands.
Let’s see what the Word of God says on such a subject:
1. Your Friend is your equal
We find details of the friendship between husband and wife and that they are the same in Genesis 2:15-25. God gave man the responsibility of cultivating and caring for the land. He took care of the animals and named them. But among the animals there were none that were suitable for the company of man. The man wished to have an equal. He needed someone who would be by his side, not someone he would rule over. That’s according to Genesis 2:20, which says, “The man gave names to all the domestic animals, to all the birds of the air, and to all the wild animals. He saw many animals and birds, but he could not find them.” a partner that was right for him.”
So God made a wife for the man. She was equal to the man and therefore she could be his friend. She was part of him. The man did not lord it over her. The man and his wife worked together and became one flesh according to Genesis 2:24. There was nothing hidden between them. They trusted each other perfectly. As a result, they were not ashamed to be together according to Genesis 2:25, which says, “His man and his wife were naked, but they were not ashamed.” Adam and Eve were best friends. God intended marriage to be that way. Husband and wife must completely trust each other. They must reveal and share their thoughts and bodies. No one should govern the other. They should help and support each other. God’s desire was for husband and wife to be each other’s best friends. That is the purpose of marriage.
2. Your spouse should be closer to you than either of your parents.
Let’s look at these scriptures; Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5 and Ephesians 5:31:
Gen 2:24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother, and clings to his wife. In this way two people become one.
Mat 19:5 And God said, Therefore a man will leave his father and mother, and be united to his wife. And the two people will become one.
Eph 5:31 The Scriptures say: “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother, and be united to his wife, and the two persons will be one.”
The husband brought his girlfriend to her parents’ house when they got married during the time the Bible was written. This is what is practiced in many areas of Africa as a custom. However, God is saying that the husband should also leave his father and his mother when he gets married. Families should not interfere in marriage. When a husband has to choose between his wife and his parents, it must be for his wife according to Ephesians 5:31-33:
Eph 5:31 The Scriptures say: “Therefore a man will leave his father and mother, and be united to his wife, and the two persons will be one.”
Eph 5:32 That secret truth is very important: I mean Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 But each of you should love his wife as he loves himself. And a wife should respect her husband.
Now they are one. Both have to honor their parents and listen to their advice. The two are now close friends.
3. Marriage is more important than your children
In the scriptures that we read in the previous point, we do not read anything about children. This shows that the marriage is complete in the sight of God, even if there are no children. It is the people who link the issue of children to validate a marriage, especially male children. However, according to the Word, children are an additional gift and a blessing for parents. Marriage is the foundation for assuming full responsibility for your children. If a husband must choose between his wife and his children, his wife must come first. The same applies to the wife, her husband must come first. It is necessary to establish a proper foundation. Children should know that their parents are one. Otherwise, a wrong foundation will crack.
4. One husband, one wife
Genesis 2:24 does not speak of wives. God made a wife for Adam. Even today God is speaking of a husband and wife for each other according to Malachi 2:15. It says, “God wants husbands and wives to become one body and one spirit. Why? So that they have holy children and protect that spiritual unity. Do not cheat on your wife. She has been your wife since you you were young.” The first man to have more than one wife in the Bible is Lameck according to Genesis 4:19-24. We are told that he was a wicked man. Now, you can give yourself completely in love to only one person. Between lovers, no one can tolerate rivals any more than God can tolerate His people according to Exodus 20:5, which says: “Do not worship or serve idols of any kind, for I, the LORD, am your God. they hate my people who worship other gods. Those who sin against me become my enemies, and I will punish them. And I will punish their children, their grandchildren and even their great-grandchildren”. There is no place for the second person in the heart of a man or a woman. Marriage is the most important relationship on earth between two people. This relationship is resembles the relationship between Christ and the church according to Ephesians 5:24-32. As God loves His people, so should a husband love his wife. As the church surrenders to Christ, so the wife should surrender to her husband.
We have learned that one of the purposes of marriage was for the man to have a mate. That is a friend who is the equal of him. What that means is that the wife must be suitable for the husband. Husband and wife must be friends. The two become one flesh. No other human relationship should replace that of husband and wife. So strive for unity with your spouse. If you need advice on relationship issues, you can contact me.