Having trouble potty training with your preschooler?
So I know something about your son.
Probably, she is smart and creative.
After all, she’s still a kid, she has the adults in her life baffled (don’t worry, you’re not alone), and she’s totally in charge of avoiding potty training.
That’s one clever little cookie.
I had four smart cookies. Two of whom were so smart that she managed not to be potty trained for a couple of years after starting the process.
Sure I can laugh now, but at the time it wasn’t that funny!
So what’s the key to overcoming potty training problems when you’ve got a little genius working against you?
Assuming you don’t have a medical condition at work here, check with your pediatrician to rule that out, two things will eventually help you get the results you want.
1. Take responsibility.
Never forget the first rule of potty training: you, mom or dad, can’t MAKE your child potty!
So don’t try it.
Explain matter-of-factly to your preschooler that this whole potty thing is really about her.
It is your job to get to the potty and relieve yourself. If you need help, all you need to do is ask. But you will no longer remember her or scold her.
Giving him something to work for is always a good idea. Post a potty reward chart in a prominent place in your house and let him collect stickers or stars or something similar every time he does what he’s supposed to do potty-wise.
Let her work for an award that will mean something to her; an extra book read by dad, a long cuddle time with mom, a trip to the park, a play date with a special friend.
It’s a good idea if you can design the prize so that it’s only available if you keep up with your potty business. In other words, it is an exclusive reward and can only be earned by advancing in potty training.
2. Get out of his way.
As your smart cookie realizes that he actually has to DO this business called potty training, he may encounter more resistance, temporarily.
After all, what’s more fun? Stop what you’re doing every few hours to go sit on the potty (boring) or poke mom or dad (lots of attention that way).
So don’t try to take responsibility away from your child by reminding, scolding, sighing, throwing your hands in the air, yelling, and all the other ways parents reveal that we don’t know what else to do.
If he has an accident (and he probably will), gently remind him to clean it up; help him if he needs it, but ask him to do as much as possible himself.
Yes, it’s messy and inconvenient. That is the working definition of parenting.
Toilet training problems are real and frustrating. For most kids, potty problems involve a power struggle, and as parents, the solution is to show our kids what to do and then get out of the way while still providing guidance.
Easier said than done, for sure, but also great training for all the other times we as parents are going to have to do the exact same thing.
Problems with the potty? Dive In Your smart and creative preschooler is waiting for you.