Is your energy running low? Protection against psychic vampires
Forget the blood-sucking vampires you see in movies, no matter how sexy. Psychic vampirism is real and refers to people who drain your energy. It is usually an unconscious process, they do not know it. You or I could do it too sometimes. These people who do it all the time tend to be toxic personalities, if they don’t meet the criteria for a personality disorder. They can make you feel fatigued, angry, or depressed. It can build up over time. Have you ever disliked someone without knowing why? Didn’t you like the vibe someone gave off?
Pay attention and keep your distance. Our own negativity can also wear us out. This is why so many depressed people suffer from fatigue. Have you found yourself telling yourself why I am so mad at this person, when you usually don’t get that mad, you might get mad? People who do not take into account your feelings, only their own, yes, with personality disorders and psychic vampires that they probably are. People who are most likely to be psychic vampires are: your narcissists, histrionics (attention seekers), depressed people, sociopaths, dependent personalities or co-dependent types, and physically ill people.
Yes, we are all toxic from time to time. The focus here is on permanent toxins. And although we cannot change the other person, we can improve ourselves or leave the relationship. You could be saying, shit, that’s everyone. Well, it can be everyone in varying degrees and times. And no, you can’t hang around your house and avoid people, that’s not healthy. You learn to protect yourself and detect them. There are many things you can do to protect yourself.
1. If you can, stay away from them. Eliminate them from your life if possible, if they are unwilling to change. If you can’t, avoid them as much as possible. You may also want to experiment with the dynamics, the conversations, to see how that changes the energy. You may want to keep your conversations short or just by email or text. This tends to be a problem primarily in the workplace and in families. You are stuck with these people. If it is too toxic, a job change may be necessary. We all know it too well; Nevertheless; given the economy, that exit might not be an option. You’d be surprised how many people are leaving toxic workplaces and starting their own businesses, though. If you must work with these people, try some or all of these methods, some are mental and some are more spiritual.
2. It is always useful to use reframing, which means that you change your point of view on something. Think of things differently. Look at your coworkers who seem to be in denial and find out how they think about things. Not overreacting and not taking things personally is essential, essential. You see, the world resolves around each person. We all live in our own world and we do it around us, so that person who vampires is operating from that position. So taking it personally is useless. Let me be clear here, I’m not telling you to just think positive and ignore your feelings. Sit them down, but find ways to let it go, let it out, don’t hold it back, and take action. If the following spiritual solutions are not for you, you will need to master the thinking piece (cognitive reframing) as well as the next one.
3. Set limits and boundaries with people. Know what you need and make sure you get it, or at least as much as you can. Take your lunch, hell, they don’t pay you for it. Close the door to your office or bedroom, whatever it takes to have that balance between social life, work and family life. Say no to those who ask too much of you. You can’t please everyone, and receivers only want what they want and don’t care about you anyway. You don’t owe anyone more than what you agreed to. If you accepted too much, modify the contract. You can change your mind. Do not accept more projects at work that leave you exhausted, feeling guilty, stressed, and waste personal and family time.
Narcissists and sociopaths are masters at projecting blame onto people. Usually it is their fault because they are too incompetent to do what they are asking to start with. Also, don’t take on a job you don’t have to do if you don’t get positive reinforcement for it. If they don’t treat you well, why do anything else for that person? You can’t change people, just yourself and some of the dynamics. For example, changing the way you respond to a particular person may result in a different response than theirs. They will sabotage it at first, as they want things to remain as they are. But over time they can change a little, but only a little. You can’t fix people and make them what you want them to be. Accept this and your life will change for the better. It will always be a balancing act. If you do something you don’t want to do and you know it will stress you out, but it will benefit you, then maybe you will. Think about it, rather than just saying yes.
4. Give to those who give back. If you have a martyr complex, it’s time to turn the page. Thinking that you will get good karma or a place in heaven for overdoing it with others is unhealthy and your motives are in disarray. I am not advocating for apathy here, but for fairness. There has to be a give and take. Give to those who make you feel good, who care about you and support you. That’s where you put your energy. If you are a professional caregiver, then you need a lot of personal care. Have you given and given to people who only seem to receive? Do you really think they will return the favor? Why would they do it? They have someone to walk with and meet their needs.
Giving to these people makes you feel resentful, hurt, angry, and unappreciated. So if you are not getting enough, stop giving and give yourself back. Take a bath, go for a walk, appreciate nature, take a vacation or be in the garden, exercise, do yoga, tai chi or qigong, meditate, etc. Women who work out testosterone-dominant loci, run, lift weights, but also do exercises like belly dancing, girlie, and Pilates to get back in touch with their femininity.
5. Follow feng shui practices. This involves placing things in a room to increase the positive flow of chi or energy. You can also improve certain areas to improve wealth, health, relationships, etc. The goal for this purpose is to keep the chi flowing to block negativity. Have you ever noticed how changing a duvet on a bed can change a room or how moving furniture changes the feel of the room? You want the room to feel good and focus on deflecting negativity.
Having hanging crystals or religious symbols that are meaningful to you, such as a pentagram or cross, whether displayed or hidden, also helps protect you. Plants help too. You don’t want to be sitting with your back to the door. If you can’t change the desk, please put a mirror on our desk so you can see behind you. If you are sitting in line with the door, that is, if you turn your head to the side that is in line with the door, place a plant between the desk and the door and hang a crystal. If not, the negative energy will flow directly, attracting drama and negativity.
6. Crystal quartz is a great stone for absorbing negativity. You should clean it from time to time by washing it with salt, ideally sea salt, or letting it rest in the sun for 24 hours, in this way the sun and the moon clean it. Other useful stones are hematite, obsidian, onyx, amethyst, agate, aventurine, carnelian, and tiger’s eye. Gemstones are known to have many healing and protective abilities. You can carry a stone in your purse, pocket or bra or wear jewelry. You may also have some nearby.
7. Aromatherapy: If you can’t burn candles or incense at work, try aromatherapy burners, things you plug in, or wear a charm. An amulet is a protective stone in which you put essential oils, it looks like a pendant. You get double protection if you put dragon blood or incense there. You can even rub some oil on the dolls nose. Scents impact how we feel. Deflectors of negativity include, but are not limited to: frankincsense, myrrh, dragon’s blood, anise, balsam, basil, cranberry, carnation, cypress, spearmint, vetivert, and violet oil. At home you can burn white sage and other incenses that protect you and smell great.
A word about oils. They should be used only externally, in diffusers, one or two drops in a candle, several drops in a bathtub, etc. You can put them on your skin. I like to put a drop on my nose or on my wrists. Nevertheless; If you are pregnant or have a serious medical condition, research the oil before doing so.
8. You can also use the power of your intention through visualization to protect yourself. Imagine yourself surrounded by a white bubble of light. You may want to say something to yourself, like let the white light of God / Goddess surround me and protect me from harm. If you have no religious affiliation, just say universal white light or whatever works for you. Also imagine a blue circle above your head to allow positive influences to enter. You can do this anywhere.
It’s best to start the day, before you leave home and anytime you feel like you need extra protection. At the very least, it will distract you from any negative feelings you may be experiencing. Also practice meditation daily to protect yourself more automatically. If you are in a troubled and possibly toxic relationship, you will want to re-evaluate whether this relationship is working for you. Can energy be worked using these methods in addition to psychotherapy and / or reiki (energy therapy)? Can both parties change or are they willing? If not, go.
A few words about working with micromanaging narcissists or having to interact with them. Know this about them, they are over-compensating for the feelings of inadequacy by projecting them onto you. Perhaps a father is like that. They create fires so they can put them out and feel relevant and useful (also known as arsonists). So hug them with information. Let them know that you are the expert in their professional field or the expert in you.
One caveat here. These people are vindictive. So if you don’t pet their ego or manipulate them, prepare for retaliation. This needs to be balanced with standing your ground, otherwise they will walk on top of you. Also be careful around sick people, especially people with chronic illnesses or cancer. Without knowing it, they will take away your energy because they need it to survive. If you must be around them, then seriously consider using some of these tips so that you can help them while maintaining their energy and, well, yourself.