If you’ve spent any time researching how to get your ex girlfriend back, you’ve probably come across a number of articles and relationship experts arguing that you shouldn’t contact your ex for a certain period of time after the breakup (usually 3-5 weeks). This is great advice and should be followed in almost all situations.
What most breakup gurus fail to mention, however, is that how you begin to reconnect with your ex girlfriend can have a huge impact on your chances of success. If you haven’t talked to your ex about her in a month then you can’t call her on the phone and ask her to get back together… this will “miss” her and won’t help your cause at all.
If your ex girlfriend did not contact you during the “no contact” period, don’t stress, it is still quite possible that you will win your heart back and rebuild a new life together. . But you have to be careful and methodical with how you start talking to her ex about her again, slowly rebuilding her attraction and reshaping her perception of you.
That’s where texting can be extremely helpful. The advantage of a text message is that it’s short (usually 160 characters or less) and doesn’t require your ex to answer a phone call or drag out an awkward conversation. Texting is a great way to break the ice and start talking to your ex again.
So, what are the types of things you can text your ex girlfriend once the “no contact” period is over? For starters, all your text messages should be casual and fun, so don’t bring up serious topics like the breakup or your desire to get back together. Instead, start by sending her something seemingly harmless and meaningless just to show her that you’re still close to her and that you’re doing fine without her.
A great way to start communication is to send your ex a message that references an inside joke that she will understand. As an example, let’s say you and your ex-girlfriend share a love for the TV show “Friends.” You can use this to shape a light-hearted text like: “Hey, I was at Starbucks this afternoon and I saw a girl who looked IDENTICAL to ‘Phoebe’ from Friends… she even had the same squeaky voice!” “
The beauty of this casual and fun text is that a) it doesn’t require any response from your ex girlfriend and b) it doesn’t indicate that you miss your ex or want her back. For the first few weeks after the “no contact” phase ends, any text messages you send to your ex should be equally casual and harmless.
If you can’t think of any inside jokes to reference in a text, another option is to ask your girlfriend a specific question that might spark memories of you and the happy times you shared together. For example, you could say something like, “Hi! I was wondering… is there any chance you could remember the name of the restaurant we went to for your aunt’s birthday party?”
Once again, this is a casual text that should elicit a response from your ex… without triggering any of her natural defense mechanisms that could push her further away. Once you get a response and slowly start talking to her ex-girlfriend more regularly, you can slowly start the process or seduce her again and reignite her romantic feelings for you.
Lastly, you can also make a suggestion in your text instead of asking a question, as this will show your ex that you remember and cherish certain memories of your time together. For example, you could send a text message: “Hey, I just ate at this amazing Thai restaurant downtown… you should definitely try it, because I know you love Thai food.”
One important thing to keep in mind: You should send these texts to slowly rebuild the lines of communication between you and your ex, not to ask questions about the breakup or beg to get back together. Only talk about “serious” topics (ie, your relationship status, etc.) in person after you’ve dated your ex a few times. Texting is just the catalyst to start an ongoing dialogue with your ex.
Hopefully, the examples provided above will give you some potential text messages to send to your ex after the “no contact” period is over. If you continue to play your cards right and rebuild his romantic attraction to you, it’s only a matter of time before you’re a happy couple again. Best of luck!