Imagine, if you like, one of those particularly tall and impressive structures we call pyramids. We generally recognize that these are wonders of mankind and we can’t seem to fathom how they could be created by a more primitive man, let alone how we would duplicate them today.
Most of us have thought of visiting the pyramids at some point. Many have taken the opportunity to visit them; but, most of us have not yet had or created such an opportunity.
I recently had an experience that reminded me that behavior comes in many forms, including passive, assertive, aggressive, and other combinations of these three. For this article, I will use the comparison of climbing the pyramid to illustrate this important principle.
Let me ask you: how aggressive does it take to climb a pyramid? Can it be climbed by a passive person? The title of this article is “The Passive Assertive Aggressive Pyramid.” Again, the reason for the name is that we are considering the nature of man, whether he is aggressive, assertive, passive, or some combination of passive, aggressive, and assertive traits.
Let’s say you start up the steps of the pyramid and there are many, many steps to the top. Well, what are the chances of reaching the top if we are not very committed? Well, it’s too challenging for the uncommitted. Can a passive person be hospitalized? Yes, of course they can. The challenge is that the passive person tends to be less energetic and more likely to avoid difficult challenges. So which one is better? aggressive assertive passive
In life we find that some are aggressive in pursuing their dreams and others are passive in accepting what life gives them.
Why did someone coin the phrase “nice guys finish last”? Good between: passive assertive aggressive, which tends to get the best of things at least in the short term? Right, the first. They go after what they want with energy and force and tend to emerge victorious even if they have to push others aside to get what they want. So which one is better? aggressive assertive passive
Unfortunately, the ‘nice guys’ may have to settle for the scraps of life as they are not motivated enough to go for what they wanted. Now, we can also be kind and aggressive, but this is an oxymoron because aggressive behavior is one that steps on the toes of others with a certain disregard for the other person.
So let’s say one decides to aggressively pursue climbing the pyramid or the mountain etc. They get ready and go. If they don’t prepare, they may fail and miss the mark.
So let’s see where we’ve come. The passive person does not tend to look for him and often will not get what he wants. The aggressive person who prepares will come out on top. So is that all there is to it? Have you ever heard the expression, ‘over the top’? So, in this analogy, the aggressive person runs to the finish line and runs right past it on their way to victory. This is correct; otherwise, they can slow down at the finish line and be passed by the next runner, assuming it’s a race. So which one is better? aggressive assertive passive
But wait; the aggressive person can be unpleasant and can be the one who gets what he wants at all costs and the one who is unpleasant and to be avoided and perhaps feared! What about this idea that you have to be aggressive to be successful? So which one is better? aggressive assertive passive
Here is the middle ground and the solution to the dilemma. In the pyramid analogy, and perhaps you would like to draw a pyramidal triangle on a piece of paper. In the bottom left corner, put the word ‘Passive’ and in the bottom right corner, put the word ‘Aggressive’. These show both extremes. Now for the middle ground. At the top of the pyramid, write the word ‘Assertive’. There you have the parts, Aggressive Assertive Passive. So which one is better? aggressive assertive passive
Now, just to clarify a bit more, we are quite complex beings and we tend to use a combination of Assertive Passive Aggressive behaviors in our lives. We can choose to be passive about this and aggressive about that. If we are faced with a great challenge, we can become aggressive in order to survive. Generally, we choose one or the other of the three: Aggressive Assertive Passive and use it as our standard of behavior. Since it is a choice, we must consider the consequences of our decisions.