Catch phrases are part of everyday society. They become enormously popular, riding a wave of cultural phenomena, which seem to disappear as quickly as they came.
But there is a term that was introduced years ago and it has not yet disappeared from the vocabulary, even in Christian dating circles. Whenever there is a conversation about relationships, it always seems to come from somewhere.
That term is “soul mate.”
Read romance novels. Listen to popular love songs. You watch movies on Lifetime television and you are likely pronounced “soul mate” in some way, shape, or form.
In fact, entire stories have emerged from the idea of ββa soulmate. Have you seen “Insomnia in Seattle”? You get the picture.
But I’m here to tell you something that may not be popular, but I sincerely believe it to be the truth:
There is no soul mate.
Now before you gasp and walk away from your computer, consider the “Sleepless in Seattle” premise.
A perfectly happy woman, committed to a man she loves, spends most of her time lamenting the fact that she has lost someone better. Of course, they lead us to believe that their true “soul mate” lives 3,000 miles away and does not know her from Adam. However, fate and destiny must have their way, and incredible circumstances lead them to the climactic scene atop the Empire State Building, where the two strangers look into each other’s eyes and know instantly that they are going to be together to. forever. Fade to black, throw credits …
… and give me a bag to throw up!
Don’t get me wrong, I can dig a chick flick every now and then. But accepting the soulmate theory goes completely against what God wants for us in a relationship.
For example, my wife and I believe 100% that God brought us together. I am totally and completely in love with my wife.
Does that mean that I could never love another? No. I could fall in love with someone else if I wanted to. It could crush everything we’ve built and separate me from my family.
But I CHOOSE not to.
And that’s the key. Real love is not silly at first sight, violins and blue birds. It is a choice. Plain and simple.
Fate has not foreordained our lives, God has. But he has also given us free will in the matter. Just as we make the decision between serving God or serving ourselves, we also choose to love someone or not.
But according to popular culture and the media, you have no other choice. You must search for your only soul mate. Let yourself be carried away by romance. Don’t worry about the real world.
And that’s what gets a lot of people in trouble. They start to believe the hype instead of the Truth. Before you know it, they are dismissing a perfectly healthy relationship for a fantasy. In fact, I personally believe that a major factor in the demise of traditional family values ββis the proliferation of anti-Christian ideas, such as soul mate, through the media.
If I believe in the notion of a soul mate, then I believe that fate has predestined only one person for me. Only one. Anyone else would obviously make me unhappy and unsatisfied. After all, they have already prepared it for me. I do not have any other option.
Incorrect!
What if I lose my wife tragically? I would hope the Lord would bring me someone to remarry eventually, but if Ronda was my “soul mate” what would that do to my second wife, “soul mate part 2”?
Do you see what I mean here?
God has a perfect match for you and will help you find one. But He cannot make you love them. That depends on you.
For example, we have friends who spent their lives in the mission field. The wife will tell you bluntly that she did not love her husband when she married him. But she knew that God wanted them to be together, so she grew to love him over the years and never looked back.
That is faith!
Do yourself a favor: turn off the tube. Throw away those junk novels. Stop listening to those melodious love songs and delve into the Word! Jesus said: “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life.” He had a plan for me and he has a plan for you. Talk to Him, listen to Him and He will show you the way.
And when you find that special someone, you will know that it is not fate that brought them together, but His good and perfect will.
So take that, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks!