How do you expand your child’s capacity for a ‘can do’ attitude?
Why is this important? Because when your child or teen says “I can’t… (eat that/do that/learn that)” it prevents them from exploring what they can do.
Hearing someone state a limitation before real-time ability testing can be frustrating because it’s a careless recollection of failure rather than envisioning success. If you believe in his ‘I can’t’, you accept his limitation. However, trying to persuade them that they ‘can’ do it (after all, they ARE capable) often leads to a battle that sends them into the corner of justification.
Helping children and young people experience more in life, not less, means they can expand their mental map of what they can do with their brain.
This example of our Happy Brain program coaches a 10-year-old through an experience of great value to him. The game is the value of the child. We will call the boy José.
“Joseph, are you ready for more brain training tips to help you develop more mental superpowers? Would you like to know a simple and smart way to feel more confident? How about being a more confident player?”
Of course, answering yes to this deserves kudos because that’s a champion mindset attitude.
“Can you imagine feeling stronger and more confident while playing?
Let’s do a thought experiment:
Using my PES scale from 1 to 10, check how you feel while saying to yourself (out loud) the following statements:
measurement of emotions
I CAN become a more confident player.
I WANT to be a more confident player.
I WILL BECOME a more confident player.
I AM becoming a more confident player.
What word (IN CAPITAL LETTERS) helped you feel more confident?
Notice how these words trigger an energy to move TOWARDS choosing to become a safer player. How do you feel when you say these words?
This is important because nothing in your life has changed, only your choice of language tells your brain what feelings will help you feel more powerful, clear and purposeful.
And the opposite is also true, let’s try another thought experiment:
Using my PES scale from 1 to 10, check how you feel while saying to yourself (out loud) the following statements:
I CANNOT become a more confident player.
I DON’T WANT TO BECOME A ” ” “
I will NOT become a ” ” “
I’M NOT becoming a ” ” “
Oh dear, these words push an energy for you to move away from the option of being more confident. Instead, the words tell your brain to narrow down your options. How do you feel when you say those words? What word (IN CAPITAL LETTERS) left you feeling less confident? crazy huh? How a few words can change your feelings of motivation!
Once again, although nothing in his life has changed, it is only his choice of language that has caused his feelings (motivation) to drift towards less confidence.
So what words work best for you?
You can now CHOOSE whether or not you deliberately steer your brain TOWARD or AWAY from feeling confident in games or, for that matter, in any area of your life (school, hobbies, friendships, etc.). How do you feel about that?
Try this:
I CAN practice developing my mental power.
I WANT to practice developing my mental power
I will practice developing my mental power
I AM practical developing my mental power
I CANNOT practice developing my mental power
I DON’T WANT to practice developing my brain power
I will NOT practice developing my mental power
I AM NOT practicing developing my mental power
What words (IN CAPITAL LETTERS) help you feel the strongest motivation?
I hope you enjoyed this thought experiment. Why not try it with your school friends and help them realize how powerful their choice of words can be? Special Agent Joseph, let me know what you find out!”